I can’t remember ever staying for the end of a movie in which the actors wore togas.

A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong.

I suspect guys who say, “I just send out for a sandwich for lunch,” as lazy men trying to impress me.

Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime.

A puck is a hard rubber disk that hockey players strike when they can’t hit one another.

Women aren’t embarrassed when they buy men’s pajamas, but a man buying a nightgown acts as though he were dealing with a dope peddler.

Joe Louis is a credit to his race – the human race.

A rabid sports fan is one that boos a TV set.

He was a parade all by himself, a burst of dazzle and jingle, Santa Claus drinking his whiskey straight and groaning with a bellyache... Babe Ruth made the music that his joyous years danced to in a continuous party... What Babe Ruth is comes down, one generation handing it down to the next, as a nation heirloom.

A puck is a hard rubber disk that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.